my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
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And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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