You really coming over, don't trick.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
are you so shy because you have an std?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
