Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
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You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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