when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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