I just pynch a tree in the face
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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