I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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