I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Randomize
