he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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