how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize