yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
