Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
