I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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