Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize