Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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