when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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