I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
