I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
