Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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