That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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