I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
