Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
