I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
