don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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