he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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