He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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