the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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