we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
