You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
