road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize