whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
