I need help removing her.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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