i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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