Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
