have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
