I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize