dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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