Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
