i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Randomize
