He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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