Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
