Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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