my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
