carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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