id be glad to
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
