I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
