i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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