if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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