I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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