Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
