I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize