big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
