Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
