I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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