Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
