we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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