And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
