the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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