This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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