I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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